Ali G meets Danny Wilson

AYUP! REF! YER AS MUCH USE AS A CHOCOLATE TEAPOT!
AYUP! Blunt Blades &

Owls of Protest

What's going wrong on the Steel City pitches

___________________________________

"Well, only another thirty five points to safety!!" With , Chelsea, Sunderland, Newcastle, West Ham and Middlesbrough all to make the trip to South Yorkshire, together with the prospect of several six-pointers, it's beginning to look black over Bill's Mother's all of a sudden. Only the FA Cup to provide brief respite for what is looking like Mission Impossible.

Not that there's owt to shout about down t' Lane where Neill "Dream Come True" Warnock has crossed the Pennines with his knife sharpener, his mission to restore the team's cutting edge . At Sheffield's other big football club things have been going from bad to worse. Even after relegation in1994 the club always looked likely to bounce back to the Premiership. Even as recently as two seasons ago, the team were in the Wembley playoffs, with only a David Hopkin last minute goal in the way of glory. A year later only failure to score in the Stadium of Light prevented another trip to the twin towers.

Now, though, the team looks lost, managers are walking out, and the much maligned chairman, Mike McDonald, has finally gone too. Warnock, who apparently got the job due to his passion for the club, is hardly the big name that would attract talent to Bramhall Lane, but at least he's a fan. Never mind that he's spent most of his management career hovering around the low end of Division One, or biding his time down in Plymouth. Given the dogfight ahead, perhaps this is a good thing. The ghosts of Spackman and Bruce still linger though, and as long as Huddersfield look Premier-bound questions still remain over the board's commitment financially. Only the thought that the Terriers might replace the Owls brings a wry grin to south Sheffield faces.

But what does it say about the sporting face of South Yorkshire when yet another West Yorkshire club joins the elite. If Bradford puts results together we could face a new millennium with South Yorkshire a very poor second to Leeds, Bradford and Huddersfield. History indeed. The city has enough problems as it is without it's major sporting clubs taking a nosedive. And don't mention the debt...

More preposterous talk of a merger in Sheffield cropped up on BBC Radio Five Live again. That the subject was raised at all was initially down to a Sheffielder who should know better. But with bums on seats a serious issue in a city with a younger generation dazzled by the Steelers and the Sharks down the road, something has to be done to revive the fortunes of steel city soccer. And fast.

Bristlehound_______________

 

Who was the last Yorkshire-born player to score for the Blades?

Please don't say Brian Deane.

___________

Well up until recently it was a toss up between Deano and Dane Whitehouse, and it must have been at least two years ago. It makes a fun Pub Quiz question but it does illustrate the dearth of young kids coming through on both sides of the Don these days. It also draws attention to the huge mercenary contingents at both clubs. It might be nice to see so many fancy internationals playing in the city that saw such good fare during Euro 96, but the lack of local talent coming through in Sheffield is nothing short of a scandal.

Luckily there's Driffield-born Lee Morris doing the business. And Richie Humphries across the city. But, Mssrs Warnock and Wilson, who is next? A good, passionate local hero is worth a hundred Italianos on five grand a week when it comes to the walkup on a Saturday. Wheres our Michael Owen, our Neville brothers, our Alan Smith, our Francis Jeffers? You don't know? Then send some bugger out there to find him then! Sharpish!

Roy Stone_______________