All Greek to me...

So the farce is over and the Greek government have let our planespotters go. It's been one of those classic cases of culture clash - even in the 20th century there are clearly countries who haven't got used to the fact that us Brits are bonkers.

I mean look at it from the Greek point of view. They go out of their way to put on all these glorious beaches, so many islands you could spend a lifetime getting lost in em, as much top snap and vino as anyone could want, and so much sun you could fry.

And what do the mad dogs and Englishmen get up to? Dossing about on the beaches of the Peloponnese, at Agios Nicholos? Naw. Better things to do. Plane spotting. Traipsing up and down hot sticky dusty roads just to watch the odd T6 fly past. Never mind the odd glowering scowl from passing military types. The mad dogs are out there in the searing sun with their Woolworths binoculars and writing down registration numbers off the planes.

Now if I were the average deputy commander of a Greek airforce base halfway through my military service I'd be a bit hacked off by all this. Why aren't these buggers slated all over the beach reading Jilly Cooper and scrounged copies of the Daily Mirror with the rest of the snowbirds. What the blummin ummer are they doing on a hill in the middle of nowhere writing down the registration numbers off my secret planes.

And he's got a point I suppose. The trainspotting mentality that's been ingrained into Anorak Briton since Cro-Magnon times hasn't really traveled very well into Europe. I can imagine Julius Caesar bogging off back to Rome complaining about ancient Britons who were busy noting down his legion numbers as the Roman army pulled back to mainland Europe.

It's not like this is a total surprise. There's always been a dotty Brit bothering the cozy European lifestyle.

Lord Byron is a classic case of a bored Brit going off to the Med for some sun, sea and mayhem. "Even as I sing, suffuse my face; For what is left the poet here? For Greeks a blush---for Greece a tear." Yeah,right mate! Have some more Ouzo and shut up...

William Holman Hunt, Pre-Raphaelite painter to the stars, braved a civil war in Jerusalem to paint a very dodgy blue goat and nearly got himself killed doing it.

And Lawrence of Arabia was a bit of a nutter too, lets face it.

Even in Greece today its the Brits that are causing the most mayhem.

I speak from first hand experience.

First trip there me and my girlfriend hired a piece-of-shit Fiat Panda and tried to drive over the top of Crete. And there is a road over the Psiloritis Mountains somewhere beyond that last Byzantine church where you are bound to come across a couple of people trying to kick start a Fiat Panda or one a Renault Twingo (as we did) on a one-in-three incline. And I GUARANTEE you they'll be from Sheffield or Middlesbrough and cursing like squaddies.

Ayup mate, having trouble wi that pedal car?? "Vorsprung durch Technik my arse..."

I'm the first to say welcome home to our own Planespotting heroes, scribbling for Britain. The year before they were arrested (almost exactly a year ago) the local airbase welcomed them with open arms. A year later they get the mean buggers in Foster Grant sunglasses dragging em into the local jail.

But part of me thinks what the buggery were they thinking! Greece is a proud, honest nation who welcome the most annoying tourists in the world with an abundance of patience and good humour. Ok, they get hold of the wrong end of the stick and give the weirdo Brits a bit of a hard time, but who can blame 'em.

Daftest thing the Greeks have been up to lately is the banning of video games. I'm not codding - this is going on right now! You Playstation addicts would be going nuts by now, so imagine what its like being a serious gamer in Athens or somewhere are finding some government lackey has voted Gran Turismo into illegality.

Its all part of some old fogie attempt to stop illegal gambling, but in true Governmental style they've gone waaaay too far.

The Greek government has banned all electronic games, including those that run on home computers and on mobile phones. You bring in your Gameboy and your risking the slammer, matey.

Greek Law Number 3037, voted in at the end of July, explicitly forbids electronic games with "electronic mechanisms and software" from public and private places, and folk have already been fines squillions for playing or owning games. The law applies equally to visitors from abroad, and this means you, junior! Your sad Tetris obsession can get you locked up here...

"If you know these things are banned, you should not bring them in," says a typically po-faced Brit official in Athens. Internet cafes are still allowed to operate, so you can get your Hotmail and bore your AOL buddies, but just stay away from Myth, OK? It's not big, and it's not clever.

Just stick to your beach towel, your Stephen King novel and your Ambre Solaire and stay away from Military airports, virtual or otherwise if you want to stay out of the slammer. Katanoo?? Good. Now pass me that Raki bottle...

Blogga